for the love of roller derby: week ten

today was the last day of the session and our last day of assessments. the weather was shitty. i was late and just off today. and of course, the idea of assessment stressed me out. a few things i know for sure:

1. my skills have improved ten fold. i am a different skater than i was ten weeks ago. i am trying to live this life in competition with no one but me. trying to be better each day than i was the day before. 

2. it's okay to ask for help. i rarely do -- in life and on skates. i have this belief that i am supposed to figure just about every thing out on my own in this life. that in some way it's a sign of weakness to ask for help. i finally saw the glimmer of a plow stop because of elaine. she's really good on her skates and really kind. i asked her to help me ... and she did and guess what? i almost stopped on a dime. baby steps ya'll. 

3. i am way too hard on myself -- in life and on skates. im pretty sure i am not going to make level 2 (this time). i am simultaneously angry at myself and proud of myself. angry because i am just not as good as i need to be to be a level two skater and that pisses me off. proud because look how far i've come. fear not, i will take level one again starting in january because if i can be where i am in just ten weeks the sky is the fucking limit. making a team one day and having an official derby name are in my future ... just gonna take me some time! thanks to all the beautiful souls i met at derby. see you all in 2017